Mama’s Bag

Oh, give me a break.  I couldn’t think of a better title. 

 

Today I emptied out my bag. This is not the diaper bag.  Diaper bags are no longer needed here.  *sniff*iknow*  This is what is supposed to be my bag/my purse. Somehow it ends up collecting everyone else’s crap.  It’s a good thing that big bags are stylin’. 

 

Here is what I found today:

*my purple waterbottle*

*2 kid cups for hot chocolate…one full/one empty*

*2-3 days worth of mail*

*a pack of spearmint gum*

*a bottle of peppermint gum* i know, right?

*bath n body hand sanitizer* we call it hanitizer. i know. we are efficient that way.

*my pink celly*

*my wallet*

*a small cosmetic pouch*

*my brain….a.k.a. my calendar*

*3 thousand and thirty-five multi-colored silly bandz* if i would have married for money, it would have been to the guy who invented those, but he didn’t have his game on 11 years ago. darnit.  geez. we can’t check out from anywhere without having a whole dialog about the fact that there are 219 of those fun things stuck in the couch so noiamnotbuyingthosetoday  let’sgodigthoseoutofthecouch.

*a leftover lip-shaped cookie wrapped in Kleenex from the kids’ VDay parties Monday*

*gym key card*

*a movie*

*one of the kids’s scarves*

*a pair of tiny undies* the kids’s….er-hum, i said TINY.

*a pint jar* ???? seriously.

*a beautiful card from a beautiful friend*

*a comb*

*a stray dollar bill* i earned from one of my kid’s who thinks it’s funny to make loud, rude noises…i charge to experience those. i don’t think it’s funny. well, maybe.

*my favorite pen*

*half a pack of tissues*

*a couple receipts*

*gym schedule*

*five hundred and ten of those “special club cards” every single store has*

*some loose change*

*crumbs. lots of crumbs*

*gum wrappers*

*a binky*

*Lansinoh lanolin* yes, leftover from breastfeeding. but, by george, that is the best stuff for chapped lips and hands. you should try it.

And I am sure that I have forgotten at least one or two more items. But there ya have it. The crap my bag collected in about two days. I heart big floppy bags.

 

Here it is in all of it’s cleaned up bliss:

*sigh* Much betta’.  Thank you very much.

Hava happy.