Just Wondering

So.  You can love me when I am the nice girl who attends Tuesday morning Bible Study and whose phone conversation goes like this.  Hello?  Oh, hi. How are you? Oh, that’s great. We are well, thank you. Aww. Well, it’s raining and very dreary here, but the Lord has blessed us and we want His will……yadda yadda.

 

But your love is tested when the phone conversation goes like this. Hello? Oh. Hey! What’s up? Not much here, but we are ok. I mean, heck, there are only twenty four cents in the damn checking account and what feels like 5 billion dollars worth of bills lying on the counter and no paycheck for miles around.  But, ya. Other than that moment of stress we are well.  How’s it going for you??

 

Because I cussed and because the job my husband has takes him away from his family for extended periods of time, you feel the need to address those issues when my actual sin is lacking faith and considering giving up.  Really? Why?  Because it is easier to paint the house rather than go inside and clean up the mess in there? Because it is easier to focus on the issues you have pat answers for rather than to dig into your heart and find empathy for the mess and the pain? Because it is easier and quicker to judge than it is to be a walk through the valley with you friend?  Because it is easier to throw out the pat answer in order to avoid the sins of your own heart?  Because all you can see is what I have done wrong in your eyes and not the person in me who is crying for just a wordless hug or an empathetic i’m sorry?

 

Just wondering.

 

Hava happy.